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Death from the Outside
Feb. 27th, 2010 11:50 amMy mother in law's aunt died today. It wasn't sudden- she had battled cancer once before, and it went into remission. It came back and simply wasn't responding as they'd wanted.
When she knew it was terminal, she made one decision- she didn't want to die in a hospital. She wanted to die at home, and wanted to be with her family as much as she could before then.
One of The Boy's cousins had gotten engaged and moved up the date so that her grandmother could attend. Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse.
She was a remarkable woman. She was in a fair amount of pain, but refused her morphine drip because she wanted to be awake as much of these last few days as she could. She was surrounded by family at all hours, it seemed, and in the last two days she slept most of the day- her body slowly shutting down. But to be surrounded by loved ones, rather than being in a hospital- it must have been comforting to her.
All through this, I've felt oddly detached. In my years of being associated with this family, I've only spent a total of 20 minutes with The Boy's great aunt- at my bridal shower, my wedding and at his brother's 21st birthday. Instead, I've just been there for my mother in law this week- letting the boys stay up later than usual so that when she got back from all that grief, she had two little boys waiting for her with hugs and kisses.
When she knew it was terminal, she made one decision- she didn't want to die in a hospital. She wanted to die at home, and wanted to be with her family as much as she could before then.
One of The Boy's cousins had gotten engaged and moved up the date so that her grandmother could attend. Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse.
She was a remarkable woman. She was in a fair amount of pain, but refused her morphine drip because she wanted to be awake as much of these last few days as she could. She was surrounded by family at all hours, it seemed, and in the last two days she slept most of the day- her body slowly shutting down. But to be surrounded by loved ones, rather than being in a hospital- it must have been comforting to her.
All through this, I've felt oddly detached. In my years of being associated with this family, I've only spent a total of 20 minutes with The Boy's great aunt- at my bridal shower, my wedding and at his brother's 21st birthday. Instead, I've just been there for my mother in law this week- letting the boys stay up later than usual so that when she got back from all that grief, she had two little boys waiting for her with hugs and kisses.
